what happened to the year of innocence?

a group of seemingly fairly young teenagers arrived at the restaurant where my friend and i were pleasantly enjoying our dinner together.  at the sight of all these young girls lighting up stinky cigarettes, my friend noticed they were all actually ‘fake smoking’ just to portray that certain unwelcoming image.  with a quick glance towards their table, i noticed the huge louis vuitton purse from several seasons ago sitting on the chair with one of the girls, a chanel chained hobo bag on the floor next to the other, and all the heavy makeup, expensive clothes, and overly accessorized jewels these girls were proudly displaying.  despite their attempts to dress and act older and sex-and-the-city-ish, i would’ve still guessed they were only 14-15 max., but because they arrived in their own car, one of them had to be at least 16.  regardless, they were dressed way beyond their age.  while i think teenage girls today are very fortunate to be able to access and enjoy all the luxury and freedom they are given, but i also feel deeply sorry for them for looking up to irresponsible ‘celebrities’ and what overly young idols are reflected and heavily promoted by the media these days.  every teenage girls seems to turn herself either into a paris hilton, a miley, or make-believe characters of drama series targeting teenage girls.  they just grow up too fast, too soon.  why is the rush to grow up now when you have the rest of your life doing alot of growing up?  you will only be a teenager for this many years, and then no matter how much you wanted to go back being one again, you will never be.  you have the rest of your life to dress like an adult, your then age, but why the rush now when you can enjoy being young and being a kid?  i feel sad seeing these girls losing their innocence too quickly…and what’s even sadder to me is the choices they’ve made for themselves and are proud of them.  i had never given any doubts about having children, until now.  with all the peer pressure, and this heavily media-influenced society, i’m not sure if i ever had children, my guidance and love would be sufficient to let them understand and embrace the importance of being a child and being happy with it…

the mushy toki

ever had one of those nights when you just couldn’t really keep your eyes opened any longer and your body was longing to speed-dive into the bed, just to snuggle under the duvet amongst fluffy pillows, yet… you still wanna write down a few silly thoughts… not to share with anyone in particular, but to remind yourself some day what a silly girl you are? :p  i’m having that “one of those nights” tonight. maybe all those recent weddings, couple stories, friendships, etc that i’ve been listening/watching/reading lately have brought out the sentimenal best of me.  like d had said to me, “you’re such a hopeless romantic!” ;p i go awww… at the slightest hint of romance… someone asked me recently, “seriously, how do you find all these hearts???” my reply was simple, “i don’t ‘find them’…they are just there (and everywhere) waiting to say hello ))” i get teary and all touched by some random kindness… i used to cry alot (in private) about unhappy things.  now, i cried alot about things that touched my heart.  tears of silly moments, of warm, loving moments, of kindness, of love, of you, of him, of her, of me…  it’s all good.  goodnite silly mushy one… xoxo zzz… ~.~

so it is… come the new

i love starting the first day of a new month with a smile… i like the feeling of starting fresh…a new beginning, and it makes me feel i’m given yet another chance to leave behind things i don’t wanna drag along with me… i can’t pin point exactly what and why, but today i wanted to start a new personal blog, and leave the old one behind… deleting an old blog definitely does not erase the past, but at least i don’t have to see it again. :p a new beginning, so it is… thanks for sharing this new day with me. *hugs* xoxo…